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Living With Fibromyalgia
- My Story -
Part
III




I felt like no one understood what I was going through. The Distric Supervisor even made the comment that I was useing my back to get out of doing the heavy work. So dispite the pain & restictions I was on, I would unload the trucks, then pay of it that night & the next day. My life was missrable. Not only had I lost my 7 year old son, I was in so much pain I could hardly walk. When it turned colder, or it rained, it was worse. I felt like I was going to go out of my mind.

Imagine if you can, sitting down to relax after a long day's work, and have to reach over to the table to pick up the phone. Then with no warning you get a jolt of pain run through you like you were hit by lighting. And it is fast & quick, you think nothing of it till it keeps on happening. After you figure out that it is the movement that is bring this on then you don't want to move at all for fear that it will cause more pain. You are still getting up in the morning feeling like you were run over by a train. And now with every step you take a massive pain runs down your leg. Got to be something wrong with you now. Your sure of it. Go to the Doctor and..... You guessed it Nothing!

So I told the doctor I was tried of taking medicine!!! Send to someone who could fix it. Send me to a muscle specialist. So he did. Off to Indianapolis I trotted in hopes that this would cure it all. Still expecting to hear the worse. Maybe it is a pinched nerve.

Well I would NOT recommend that test for anyone. It is extremely painful. They first stuck this needle in my foot & leg. And then electrocute me. Now I can't move, and I have to relax. Yeah, right!!! That thing really hurts. Now, when that part of the test was over. He then put that needle in my back. He actually got mad at me for not relaxing. For one I am afraid of needles, and two it hurt. Well he can't finish the test because I won't relax. But he doesn't think I have a pitched nerve. He recommended I go to a Rheumatoid Arthritis doctor. {Sign} I wanted to cry again. I was so sure they would find something. But they didn't.

Back to my regular doctor. So now he refereed me to a Rheumatoid Arthritis doctor. So back to Indianapolis I trotted. But my sprits weren't too high. This would be a waste of time.

I had gained about 20-30 pounds during all of this. Listening to the jokes about how a turtle waked faster than me, and tring to take them in stride. Even thought a couple of times of buying a cane to help me walk. I even had it in my hand to go to the check out. But changed my mind at the last moment. If I bought that dang thing it would mean (to me) that this thing had beaten me. So I put it back. And suffered through every painful step. Boy, am I stubborn or what?

Let me stop here for a moment & tell you that each test, and doctor appointment I went to, I went alone. My so called boyfriend did not give me much support through this. He made me feel like I was a burden to him. It would take me three times as long to get to the car. And when he was ready to go you best be ready too. I felt so alone in all this. I asked him one time, that if I got sick enough, would he take care of me or stick me in some home. He said he'd stick me in some home. He was a very selfish man, it wasn't what he could do for me but what I could for him. And with all my problems, I couldn't do every much. I felt so bad, even guilty at times. And I knew I was gaining weight, & I started to feel unattractive. He didn't even try to calm that fear either.










Living With Fibromyalgia
- My Story -
Part
IV
 



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- My Story - Homepage
 



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- My Story - Part II
 

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